Minecraft art. Also I hate blogs like this.

You know ones that update once every 5 months?

I was reminded to come on here because I needed images of things from way back when in 2009. I'm also feeling the pressure of needing to sell things....or *GASP* get a 9-5 job. Even though I feel like I do things everyday. Now that E is back in school full time I need to be doing SOMETHING.

To satisfy the one person who may come on here I did some flat minecraft pixel art. Meaning in a 128 by 128 block area I placed blocks down so when you make a minecraft map it shows up, and therefore you can place the map on your wall making a painting. For any of you that play minecraft you know how tedious this might be, and doing so in survival makes it much harder.

some sort of refashioning happened...

I promised a post awhile back and just haven't gotten around to it. No excuses here for me. Seriously Evan has started going to Pre-K full time and what do I do? Play Minecraft. I don't know how being in a simulated world becomes almost more satisfying than being in the real world but that often ends up what happens. Ordinarily playing it by myself would not lend me to getting so addicted, but I found a really good multiplayer server I enjoy. Still no excuses for not posting and not doing much work.

Pants to skirt with a lace trim. The first one that I made, waist band cut off, zipper taken off and front flapped over to create a closure with an added triangle of denim stitched in the bottom to fill the gap. Though an interesting look I'm not entirely sure about how complicated it was to piece it together.

Motivation? Changes? :O

       No images on this post I'm afraid, just talking to the few readers if any that I have :).
So Evan is starting preschool full time this week, from 8:30 to 2:30 instead of 8:30 to 11 so now I have extra hours which I need to fill up with more things to do. All the more reason to get really focused on actually selling things instead of pouting around and playing games.
   

         The questions are: How much of what I actually make would be sell-able?

Should I be focusing on something super specific?   

How can I make something show that I have taken the time and attention of making it  even though I have taken the time and attention of making it? Is the product long lasting?

How the hell do you start a business when you don't really have money in the first place?

          I honestly don't know what I'm so afraid of... failure most likely. It's all an excuse isn't it? My therapist has been ever so gently kicking my butt into gear about this for the longest time now which is a good thing, as I have a hard time becoming motivated without someone having expectations of me.

       As a note this post has been sitting here for over a week. Completely silly....
I do have the images now anyways. Time for another post!

Five Nights at Freddy fever

Evan and I have been pretty obsessed with this series and for x-mas I wanted to make him a set of figures done from felt. It wasn't much of a surprise as he saw me make them and he kept playing with them before they were finished. I think these were for the most part successful even though there things I would change about them.

More here!

Pictures of what I have done. (you thought I was never going to post these didn't you)

At least I hope so. 3 months later and I finally do something. Isn't that horrible? I hope the images come up...

No idea what this octopus person's deal is. I thought it came out well despite painting acrylic on glass. The coloring is mostly sharpies that I utilized the bleed through and the fact that it always smears on glass to my advantage so the paint itself is really just white with some medium added in. Great for when you want a variety of colors but don't feel like mixing a bunch of paint.

More after the jump!

A small apology

Or maybe some excuses.

It has been a somewhat busy summer with a vacation and now Evan starting pre-k and all (they grow up so fast!). I have been making work just not taking pictures and posting it. I am hoping tomorrow I will upload them and have a new post ready soon. I have painted some magnets, jars, boxes and even a few plastic animals. A lot of fun :)

Just words for thinking (I think).

No images just yet of what I have been working on just yet, but maybe some rambling time instead?

I feel a sense of urgency to sell something, which is funny because I haven't set myself up to do so just yet. I have not advertised on Facebook or did anything to art page on there since I made it like two years ago. I have not set up an Etsy account, nor gone through specific local venues/galleries and say "here look at some of this stuff and maybe put it in your store/gallery", and I haven't looked actively for  craft fairs and so on.

Zombie shoes!!!

I'm pretty excited about these shoes. These cheap canvas shoes from Walmart were falling apart and I knew something had to be done. I knew it had to involve zombies in some way or shape....

These shoes are a dark grey as you can see so you can barely see the marker drawing on them. I gathered some pinspiration and saw some I really liked. I didn't really care that the images would match, but I liked the idea of zombies kind of eating your feet (I have seen slippers like that before).

Holey tank top embelishments!

      A few things I was working on that are not in any way massive changes to the original clothes. Sometimes I just don't feel like letting them be, and when faced with thought of giving it away or throwing it out I might as well try to make it wearable again, with mixed results. I have three here that might be finished or basically done.

      This first one is a simple tank top that was already a tank top to begin with, so not much of a change in that regard. I added a few cut outs, which were like so "in" a year or two back. What I don't like about the usual cut outs is that it is left with raw edges which eventually loose shape and stretch out. I suppose the easy thing to do would be a small stitch around but leaving the edge bare, but I thought it would be interesting to do some colors that would pop out.

Not bad, although it depends on what is underneath as well....

cd holder turned hotwheels storage

So as with any of you with small boys know that hotwheels and matchbox cars are a pain in the butt to store. We have some cases for most of the ones Evan has, however for his birthday my father got him a set of 70 of these small cars. Besides buying yet another case or getting a tackle box, I tried looking to Pinterest for ideas on storage and there were some interesting ones, none of which I could make on hand with what I had. Well there was one involving toilet paper tubes but I knew in reality that would be torn to shreds in the manner of minutes. What I did have was an old cd tower. I looked for any heavy duty cardboard I could find as anything that bent too much would be unusable. Cardboard from sketch pads work well as did old book covers (another reason to save otherwise wrecked board books). I measured and cut accordingly and spaced them every three slots or so. Depending on your cd tower your pieces may not all be the same length, as the top was much more shallow and increased in depth as it went down. When they are all set just glue them in place. One thing I didn't do which would of saved time would have been to spray paint the inside a contrasting color, or even pre-painting your boards the color you want. The only reason I painted the inside blue wasn't for looks really as it was because I couldn't find any of my black paint. I'm sure there are many uses for cd tower re-purposing, if you have the need for small shallow shelves that is. Here are the pictures of it as of now.

As you can see I need a few more coats of paint but all in all I'm pretty happy with it!

So what happened?

Whatever happened to this blog anyways? Mild confusion really. It is always said that you should stick with a topic and go for it but as of late all of my "making" is pretty spread out while not being satisfied to the point where I feel like things should be shown to the public. There are no excuses because I am continually making things, though sporadic, it is the quality of those things I do have issues with. Instead of focusing on something to increase the craftsmanship of something that could be a product I move on to something else. Lately I have been very interested in refashioning. Finding Refashionista.net online has brought up many ideas and motivations to make remake clothes. Interest in refashioning has always waxed and waned for me. I remember in highschool (I think) when huge flares were popular and I did some jean extensions with old sheets. While an undergrad in college Project Runway was a new show then and it was so exciting to think about making clothes. THINK is the key word, not make. I am pretty sure I tried to make a few things sans sewing machine...I even made my own duct tape form. Things quickly fizzled out, probably do to lack of patience and frustration. So here I am again, attempting to refashion some clothes. No sewing machine again. I don't know maybe I like torturing myself? Usually it is just detail oriented things I have been doing like cut outs, shirt to tank tops and so on, nothing too major and with stuff I already have. Imagine my excitement in Salvation Army where I found something I could really and honestly refashion. A muumuu. Let me tell you something upfront. I am fat. Size 24 fat. So you have to take that into consideration when you are doing anything relating to clothes. In all honestly the biggest sizes you are going to find in any thrift store is your size. So I am left wondering what I could do when I see thinner women taking huge clothes to them that are my ordinary size and fitting them into something sleek, sexy and flattering. Should I just stick with minor details or try to work on something completely ridiculous and hard? So anyways I found this muumuu for half off ($2 and some change). Why was it ever worth $4 something is beyond me. Do they look at any of these clothes before pricing them? I apparently don't look hard enough because not only where there a few light stains but a cigarette hole in the pocket and on the dress itself. I cut off the sleeves and trimmed the fabric off from there making spaghetti straps (screw up #1, one of the straps twisted and I did not notice before attaching it). I then proceeded to shorten the arm holes haphazardly and patching the ciggy hole. Made an uneven sash from the extra fabric and cut some inches off the bottom because I figure it would do better as a top. I ended up cutting out the pocket so the seam is messed up from that. Not bad for a first major try with no sewing machine. Will I plan better next time? Probably. If there is a next time...

What happened?

What comes to mind?

When one thinks about infection, contagion and the like?

I took all of the parts that were going to make up Evan's toy and stuck them together to make a mishmash of facial parts clumped together, as well as a fleshy ball of what was the blank face sandwiched together. I have decided to work on it as a complete piece in of itself rather than with the thought that I was going to overlay it with my samples of tape encased with remnants of certain insects and remains of bodily things. I think they should be separated for now. As for the drawings the samples used to be on and under, I have no idea what to do with that as of yet. I kind of regret taking it apart for the sake of wanting the tape for something else, but to me they were two separate things that should of not been together in the first place. The drawings, no matter how abstracted they were, were forced to interact with the samples and any "concepts" clashed with each other. The sample tapes were flat on the paper and stagnant and the drawing was mostly overworked and heavy handed in most cases. I think by themselves the drawings may of worked but wouldn't of been made without the tape being there. If any of that makes sense. So one became three.
Sadly this means I'm even more delayed in showing any work online because of these several steps backwards to go forwards. I need to cut myself off at this and not pursue anything but these three ideas because I'd never finish anything in that case.

I might do more hand sewing stuff without the expectation that I want it to be a toy for Evan. Thats a different kind of pressure right there.

The good thing about all of this is that I see a direct connection in what I did at the end of college at the thesis show and I feel good about that. I felt so abruptly cut off from developing my work because it felt like "the end", as if that was the point where everything accumulated to even though I was left feeling unsatisfied and unfinished. Its no use contemplating what could have been if everything lined up from then and what my work would be like now, because that isn't how life works.

Well hello again from the depths of toddler hell.

Just kidding, mainly anyways. I need to remind myself that this is my art blog (that I never post in), and not a mommy blog. My facebook page is littered with every single thing Evan does as it is, hilarious or not. I am sure it will creep in here as he makes up a main part of my day.

Looking through the lists of artists for the upcoming Whitney Biennial has made me crave art just a little bit more, as well as feeling slightly more stupid than before. It feels like I've always turned wrong somewhere on a constant basis. What is the point of doing something when you do nothing with it? I will not and can not blame Evan in any way (and I really hate it when parents blame parenthood for not living up to their dreams that they had beforehand). I guarantee you that it would have been the same way if Evan wasn't here. Thats just how it goes. I just need to use my free time better and not play Sims Social...

Anyways I've been doing more sampling still, odds and ends and yet still more small drawings. I don't know what these drawings are exactly, seems like it is just added confusion on top of confusion. Attempting to make a Mr. Potatohead like face for Evan to stick face parts on but its not going so well. I am very tempted to do something else with it, because I think once Evan gets his hands on it he'll just rip the velcro off. I'll figure it out.

I just noticed that this post is almost exactly 2 years after the last post, a couple of months before Evan was born. Kind of made me laugh, especially at the thought that the last post was probably all hormone driven.

hmmm...

I'm still working, barely and sporadically. I think I am probably forever lost now, even though I was never present to begin with. I think this was expected, considering I was a complete fucking joke to everyone. So thank you for doing absolutely nothing.

So for now it is all doodles and illustrations for nothing. I'll save anything thoughtful for people who deserve it.

hmm slight hiatus..

I've been taking an art hiatus kind of since I graduated, doing mostly small drawings of nonsense. Adding to this I am jobless and pregnant and going through a difficult time at the moment. Also in the past few days I've been going on Second Life again. So in relation to what I was interested in before I am tempted to do some projects on there.

Thesis writing...(hey it makes sense to me)

Painting for me is a constant cycling of layers of ideas and processes, extremes coexisting, the inner and the outer world to name of few. This current body of work is one segment in a continually ongoing exploration into the nature of identity fragmentation in this current time, utilizing and combining the physical and the digital self. The self-identity, which has never been purely stable, is now continually fragmented and multiplied due to the nature of our world in this digital age. There is indeed a sense of existential turmoil. Though my work currently I aim to dissect and represent this concept through painting and the cylindrical nature that my use of paint can inhabit. It is also a way for me to look at the psychology within myself while having it be a means towards a societal encompassment of ideas, to connect with universal themes in response to humanity. This is a two part piece, where as the first will deal with the physical aspects, the second will involve the digital.
In dealing with thoughts of identity fragmentation and the posthuman I utilize the format of self-portraiture. Though they are not literally self portraiture, they are in terms of obsession and focus on how I view my body in physical terms. It is defined to me in the form of flaws in which there is a constant attempt to perfect the human form and to recreate ourselves. This also coincides with preserving parts of the body as a method for recreation (such as cloning) and preserving as samples (forensics). It is the aftermath of attempted perfection which then turns into destructive and deconstructed fragments. I am also interested in plagues and diseases, and I feel these pieces carry out the nature of that concept as well, bringing something so elusive and yet such a physical representation of destruction and decay.
What began as an accident quickly turned into a full out process. I began to do a series of pours on top of glass from which I could pull off into a self made raw material. These pours consist of a base of polycrylic, which dried quickly, as well as other acrylic based materials, being mediums, gels, and latex paint. The translucency can be somewhat controlled through the proportions of what is used. The behavior of the paint, depending on numerous factors, could not be. It is an interesting state of viewing what happens depending on aspects such as the tilt of the glass, how the materials are layered and react with one another and so on. Interestingly the plastic of the material gave such organic and body like qualities to the fragments and inherently reanimated them. Embedded with in these are samples from my own body: hair, blood, skin, scabs and the like. Other items include rust, leather and bone fragments to name a few. The obsessive attempt at preserving the discarded remnants of the body allude to a physical ritual, the fragments within fragments, the cylindrical aspects of the body, and death. When these fragments are placed in their final configuration they mass together into figurative forms, pathetically draping and reacting to one another and yet still isolated in their own characters. The mass was needed in order to remove the idea of completely individualized sample and to create an overwhelming composition and a shroud like form. From far away it is quite attractive in color and jewel like in quality. However once up close the realization becomes of what they are made up of and what is encased inside.
The paintings are done in the opposite way, starting with a structure of the paint on the surface and working the fragments on top and within the painting. The image consists of a portrait which at first is done quite specifically as a portrait but then proceeds to lose its self in the fragments. Mouths gaping they are screaming, embedded inside a plague and inside themselves while the illusion is that they continually grow. They resemble statues of antiquity, decayed and broken from age, but made of flesh.
The continuation of this work will rely heavily on the digital to recreate these works. Image samples from photographs of the fragments will be used on 3d forms from various games to create other worlds and “people”, to which they will be rendered in the form of physical paint. This will provide a loop connecting the physical world and the digital online world.

Post Human Fragments

Thesis pics.

showcard..



these were in the show...







these were not but should of been.











click to see fullsize.

a vent

fuck everyone (again) Especially retarded hipster pseudo artists who have nothing better to do than make stupid ironic comments and want to "enlighten" their audiences with their so called knowledge about the world but the only ones who see it are other retard hipsters. So fuck your crafty do it yourselfers and your felt and your gun jewelry (this last part had nothing to do with the show). You are all singlehandedly ruining everything about art. Lets not forget about all the conceptual bullshit that everyone pretends to care about. Trends these days made popular by these failures at life is all part of some inane circle jerk and ass fucking. I hope you all die. (the end)
on another note,
I'm taking pics of the show this monday along with other pieces that should have been in the show in order for it to make more sense but the museum people are a bunch of Nazis.

newish work cellphone pic style

This doesn't relate to anything but I did it at Red Lobster, as a celebration of my first time there.


These were taken last week so they are all somewhat different now. However I'll take some decent ones tomorrow. Thesis is Identity Fragmentation.

Peeled pours, mix of medias such as acrylic/polycrylic, various dyes and latex paint, hair and other various body fragments (who really knows what else).






Paintings continuing this through other means/results:







Sorry for the quality. I'm taking better pictures tommorow along with a few other ones.